Unfortunately, IT'S IN THE BAG
Tano Handbags - The best "it" bag your money can buy!By Debbie Salomon
First, a primer on purses. Unlike other fashion accessories purses serve a purpose while telling a story. The purpose: a portable repository for money and other stuff. The story: women responsible for necessities carry big ones while ladies accompanied by a guy pocketing the car keys, coins, credit cards, handkerchief, pen and LifeSavers get away with a slim little bag for a lipstick, comb and a couple of twenties.
The latest, however, are satchel-sized and weighed down with bling. They are the SUVs of handbags. Not even the mother of twin toddlers needs a bag that big. Empty, they are heavy. Full, they are free weights. Pricewise, the leather ones are outrageous, and cheaper synthetics -- made from fossil fuels, no doubt -- scream fake or some designer's initials, perfect for the I'm-worth-it-look-at-me generation.
Like I said, gas-guzzling Hummers driven by the single parent of 1.2 children who defines off-road as the soccer field parking lot.
Yet their oversize states something else. A woman's needs have changed. She can no longer leave home without a cell phone, sunscreen, water bottle, meal-replacement bar, key ring clacking with preferred customer chips, appointment calendar (electronic or manual), sunglasses, designer reading glasses, Soup-to-Go, hair brush, make-up, ATM card, picture IDs and more.
These bags intended for daytime use despite being gold, pewter, bronze or zebra are secured with shiny metal and rhino-proportioned rhinestones, as if designed for contestants on "Dancing With the Stars," that wildly popular show that diverts American sensibilities from Iraq, global warming and the imminent recession, as did bejeweled flappers dancing the Charleston on the eve of the Great Depression. Their colors -- chrome yellow, azure blue, chive green, magenta, dead white are not intended to match any outfit other than candidate Hillary Clinton's famous suit jackets. Similar colors are worn by Queen Elizabeth II so she can be seen by adoring crowds who at least have universal health care.
Credit the queen and Clinton for keeping color where it counts.
I do see the gaudiness aiding law enforcement: a purse-snatcher wouldn't get far before being apprehended. Nor would a shoplifter.
But personality remains the major roadblock to carrying (off) these objects. I don't have the nerve to show up at the supermarket at 7 a.m. with a bird of paradise draped over my shoulder. I am small, they are big. I am plain, they are fancy. I am frugal, they are exorbitant.
Actually, they are ugly.
They are also desperate. In more secure times, fashion reverts to classics: fine-grained soft leather in natural hues drawstring pouches, envelopes with narrow straps and elegant hardware, satin clutches for evening and awning-striped canvas for July. But today, the tendency is eat, drink and buy wild things for tomorrow we are foreclosed.
Nevertheless, I am not carrying rope-entangled military camouflage or hot-pink faux-croc with chain-link accents and a silver lining, no matter how dark the gathering clouds. And I doubt anybody else will, this time next year.
Labels: it bag, tano bag, tano handbags, tano leather bag

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